Read Mey's Minds

About love, life, sometimes hateful thoughts…

I’m not as pretty as twilight 13/06/2010

I am just an ordinary girl. An ordinary girl who always wrestled with questions. This ordinary girl has found her prince. But the prince never shows himself. Maybe I’m not as pretty as twilight…

When the dawn slowly unveils my dream mist, you’re slowly hiding behind the drops of the morning dew. When the king of the day establishes himself at his throne, you’re hiding behind the clouds. As the twilight starts to equal  my strides to the resting, you’re hiding behind the shadows. I guess I’m not as pretty as twilight…

You never show yourself in front of me. I don’t know why you do that. I want to know but I’m a little bit scared. Scared of hearing something that I might not want to hear.

I’m afraid of losing you. I don’t want to lose you. I’m not ready to lose you. Because I know, you’re always on my side. In the dark, out of nowhere, don’t know how and why, you’re there. Watching over and protecting me.

You hide behind the morning dews. You warm the dew in the morning so I was not shivering. You hide behind the clouds. You’re willing to knit a cloud in the afternoon under the blazing king so I can walk comfortably. You hide behind my shadow, follow me from behind, maintain and protect me. Sometimes you’re hiding behind the glow of moonlight. Directs its rays, illuminate the path that I passed.

You’re hiding in the dark while I do not have even a single candle to illuminate the darkness so that I can see you. At least I want to touch you or hear your voice. But you never approach me one bit. Maybe I just need to convince myself that you’re there. At least I feel you’re really there. Maybe it isn’t real. Maybe it’s just my imagination. An overflow feelings of longing to you, my prince, that can’t be stopped anymore by my fragile heart. I was not as pretty as twilight…

The same morning. Same dawn. Same morning dews. Same feelings. Is there any possibility that this moment you’re hiding behind the middle of those dews? Warming it so that I can overcome the cold. I do not know. I do not want to find out. I do not know how to find you behind those dews.

A beautiful white dove flies and perches on my shoulder. It tells me, someday my dream prince will definitely appear. He will come when my romance period comes. He’ll bring me the moon. He will come with a string of stars which has been picked from heaven and put it around my neck. He will give a sweet goodnight kisses.

I believe it. I’m waiting for him. Until the dove becomes old and withered, I was still awaiting. But he never appears.

One night that white dove appears again in my dreams. It still convinces me that the prince of my dream will appear. It tells me that I am as pretty as twilight and my prince is longing for twilight. I’m tired.

I want to believe it. I want to continue awaiting for his appearance from the shadows and hug me. But he does not turn up and I’m getting tired. I want to forget his existence and live my life as usual. But I can not. The shadows of his existence always haunt my night. I decide not to forget him. Continue thinking that he is right behind those darkness. But I no longer await his appearance to bring me a string of stars and the moon. The memory will always be there even it has been buried deep in my heart. I’m not as pretty as twilight. I’m not a princess of his dreams.

I’m tired of getting lost in the mist of dreams. I tell the dove, maybe I’m not as pretty as twilight. I guess I’m not as pretty as twilight. I’m not as pretty as the twilight. Do not tell me I’m as pretty as twilight…

 

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